"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet."
--From Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)
In the frenzy of holiday visiting, we had the opportunity to hang out with a number of friends who now have children. Granted, these kids are all under the age of one and none of them are saying anything more than "da da," but it got me wondering how children should address friends of their parents. As some of these parents would hand a kid off to me, they would say, "Go see Aunt Jackie."
I'm sure that this will all come out in the wash, but the first time someone said that I was like, "whoa." I am not that baby's aunt! And it made me feel old! I still have yet to make up my mind, however; when I was young, I believe we called close friends of my parents "aunt" and "uncle," eventually dropping those titles as we got older and just using first names. I like the closeness that those titles connote, but does it detract from the uniqueness of actual aunts and uncles? I suppose I will grow used to whatever they end up calling me.
Some friends have asked, "Well, what do you want to be called?" We've thought of Ms. Jackie or Mrs. Jackie, but that seems a little Southern hospitality for my taste (not that it's bad, I'm just not a grits and biscuits kind of gal). I believe that our friends Joe and Erin refer to us as Jackie and Kevin in front of their daughter and I've never had a problem with that. But is that too informal? I've read various opinions on the subject, such as this one from the Washington Post. Many Internet posts indicate that the hybrid method (Ms. Jackie) is the way to go, citing the fact that some last names are just too hard to say for kids, it still has respect and eventually the title can be dropped as the child grows into adulthood. I'm not sure what my other alternatives are, as at this point in my life, "Mrs. Bonner" still sounds like my mother-in-law to me! However, I grew up with my friends all calling my mom Mrs. Casey and that still to this day sounds ok to my ear!
I was doing Internet research to look for some other creative alternative to these methods that would still connote respect, but failed to find any that weren't related to a particular ethnicity. If anyone has suggestions, I'd love to hear them!
More links:
Yes, m'am
Parenting: Call me Mr...
Berkeley Parents Network (remember this is the land of fruits and nuts :-)
Monday, January 1
What's in a courtesy title?
Posted with care by Jackie at 1:50 PM
Labels: courtesy titles
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4 thoughts on this topic:
This one reminds me of a funny story. Having such a small family (1 aunt, 1 uncle, 2 cousins), my parents trained me to use "aunt" when referring to their friend, Loretta. Or "uncle" when talking about or to their childhood friend, Fran. But one time, I believe down the shore, I was with said Aunt and I went into deep thought (about as deep as it gets at five years of age) with Loretta and her friends that she was actually not really my Aunt and that she was, in fact, a Fake Aunt. Ever since, Aunt Loretta signs my birthday and Christmas cards with "Your Fake Aunt Loretta". Ok, well, I thought it was a funny story. Ahhh.
my question is...when "the beach" goes into deep thought at the beach, does that create a ripple in the space-time continuum? your thoughts?
your fake friend,
j-train
How about "The Jack" or "J Bons" Kind of like "K-Bons" or we could stick to "ones" for him.
any chance you're free 3rd week in February?? Still trying to round up Puff and Heath..oh and puff's mattress went in the window just fine. all put back together and to my knowlege the old time weights in the windows still work even after being removed and re-inserted.
Sorry to hear about your grandmother jack. We'll be thinking about you, your father and family.
ha ha how about mj like Ms/Mrs and Jackie M J
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